Christmas Day Reflections

Christmas Day was wonderful. Of course, I reflected much on my family. I have so much other to be grateful  for in my life. As I sat with my grandparents yesterday, I realized that I need to look at my life a bit differently going into this New Year.  I need to embrace everything about my life that I now know.

 My Grandparents left enough for me to know. Our Church family has welcomed me with open arms. I’m not just me, but I am my Grandparent’s granddaughter. I have many memories that they left in my heart that no one can ever take away.

I know I may never have a  relationship with the rest of my family. At the cemetery yesterday, I saw who I think is my Uncle. I would never approach any of my family unwanted. He may not even know about me, so I quietly got up and walked away.  I left him be so he could have his own private time with my Grandparents. As I walked away, I thought to myself, “ Merry Christmas, Unk”.

As I lay last night ending one of the most beautiful Christmas Days I have ever had, I thought heavily about my Bio Mom. It’s time I talk about her with my Dad. I think we both need this and we both need acceptance of her and for all that happened those many years ago. He will not talk to me though. He will not respond to any email I send, so I’m not sure that will ever happen. It’s really hard to have a one sided conversation, and I refuse to do that. I have a lot to work through when it comes to my Bio-Mom and if I have to do it alone, then so be it. I want to know more about her, so I think that is where my concentrations need to be this coming year….finding out more about her life like her college career, her sorority, her likes and dislikes, and maybe even a picture so I know what she looked like.

So, it’s time to move on and accept all things about my life…… the discovery of new, accepting the past, and embracing the future.